GPS, EXIF, Data, And The Agency

A few years ago we were presented with the most wonderful accessory for 35mm cameras - a small electrically-powered back that would imprint the date that the shutter was triggered onto the negative with a small LED display. You could mar your best shots accurately and regret it for ever after. No longer was it necessary to search for a hairstyle or skirt length to accurately date the negative or slide - even landscapes could be fixed in time. " Hey, when exactly did they move the Matterhorn a foot to the left? Let me look at the bottom of the negative for the glowing orange numbers..."

Time passed and the digital camera revolution occurred and, like all revolutions, left the streets awash in  dead bodies. In this case it brought numerous benefits - you could now photoshop unicorns and dragons into faerie pictures, you could do 400 shots of your lunch for less than the cost of the lunch, and the streets were still awash in dead bodies.

It also brought the ability to record far more about each image at the time it was taken. Every time you press the shutter button there is a burst of data that is tucked into the file you create - shutter speed, aperture, flash status, focal length, compensations, and conditions all go into the EXIF data. You can see  a little of it on the back screen of the camera and if you use a program like Lightroom or Aperture you can see a lot more on the computer.

It will also tell you what the date and time were when you pressed the button, and if your camera is equipped with a GPS locator you can find out where in the where you were at the time. We are looking forward to the next generation of information recording - digital cameras of the future are rumoured to contain circuits that will add WTF information at the time of image capture. Computers will be equipped with WGAF programs to deal with this.

It should clear up a lot of confusion in the field and subsequently save a lot of storage space on our hard drives. If there is insufficient initial WTF available, the WGAF circuit cuts in and the file is automatically deleted. Some computers will emit a rude noise when this occurs.

Please note that users of the newest cameras can already get a monthly report emailed to them from Langley, Virginia, about their photography. All the information in the image is coded and transmitted by the GPS to waiting drones and thence to geo-stationary satellites and back to the agency. It is compared to a data base of other views of similar places and faces and a complete story of the user's activities generated. There is no need to turn the camera on as it is permanently recording everything in the vicinity to add to the data stream - the only real action required by the user is to come into the local office of the agency and explain their motives for whatever they have been doing. The monthly email will mention whether it will be necessary to bring a toothbrush and change of clothing in case of an overnight...or longer...interview. These new cameras come in bright colours, too, so everyone can be happy.

Or else.