Flapoflex Corporation, makers of the famous Flapoflex D, are set to announce a distinctive range of retro-boutique cameras that take the discerning purchaser back a century. These are fully functional digital cameras using the latest pixels but they have been configured to yield results that make you turn the page.
To see more, we hasten to add. Drawing upon the sort of image quality that made Fox-Talbot famous and Nadar drink heavily, the new Flapoflex Retro Rangefinder cameras feature sensors that disregard most of the optical information and concentrate on the nostalgic emotions of the photographer's great granny.
The Flapoflex Retro S only produces sepia-toned images. The on-board noise generator and the patented Vignett-O-Matic assure an image that never gives too much away. You can hide an entire chorus line of Tilley Girls in the bokeh. It has been described as round and brown.
But it doesn't stop there. It never does. Internet rumour mills are like that. You will also be able to purchase the Flapoflex Retro C and the Retro F for blue or green-tinted images. Apparently the files are all recorded with roughly brushed edges and peeling emulsion.
You may want to look at a tripod with these new cameras as the shutters are limited to B and 1/4 of a second. Don't be too worried about the sunshine as the ISO is .06 and the maximum aperture is f:22. You may want to avoid using the cameras at basketball games.
Best news of all is the price of the new Retro range: 150 Guineas in the US, 700 Reichsmarks in the UK, and 25 US Golden Eagles in Europe. No sense having a retro camera that you have to buy with modern money.
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